O’Malley Vanquished by PD’s New Cannon

Avast ye!

Word reaches me here in me stronghold a few leagues east o’ Port Royale that the piratin’ influence in Ireland wanes further, after the merchants and gentleman’s alliance that styles itself The “Pirate Destroyers” invested in a new Cannon. Any of us who have sailed the Seven Seas will know that the acquisition of new cannon is the first step a merchant takes before setting out to best pirates like ourselves, who do live only to sail alongsides him and pillage his precious cargo afore it reaches the New World.

It’s only a few months ago that this tiny clique o’ lanlubbers was routed in open sea battle. A few of their number were washed up on a remote and desolate Island, and it were the fond hope of all a’seas that they’d expire of hunger, if the scurvey didn’t get’em first. It do bring a tear to me eye to learn that this same cabal o’ well-to-do merchants, upstart barristers and aspirin’ nobles have got their hands ‘pon a cannon. Whether it fires round shot or grape shot, I know not, but in dispatches from the port o’ Dublin I do hear that ‘twas in action today and won a defeat over Fiona O’Malley. Now, I know naught o’ this O’Malley lass, but I do hear that she’s part of an illustrious family. I surmise then that she’s the latest o’ the female pirates to follow in line from the great Grace O’Malley, as fearsome a pirate as ever stood ‘pon a burnin’ deck. So It’s with the sadness that only a seadog that’s lost a brother or sister o’ the sail can feel, that I ponder the future of these Pirate Destroyers with their new cannon. I console meself that the cannon, from a foundry in Galway, is new and untested, and that its owners have not the men aboard, nor the wit, to make use of it.

Make fast the jigger!

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Arrh! The Photo above be available for us to be using though Creative Commons by missy_1074 from Flickr. We thankee!
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