Blackbeard in Dublin Skirmish

Splice the mainsail, me hearties!

Word reaches me, here in me cabin, a few miles north o’ Tortuga, that me old’ rival in piracy, Blackbeard De Rossa got the wrong end of some young scamp’s cannon last night in the fair port o’ Dublin. Perhaps a little in-depth pirate analysis might help explain what happened:

The Great Lanlubbin’ Powers o’ Europe had some class of parley in the port o’ Lisbon some months ago. Though I spend most of me time a’seas, I know its in me own interest to keep an eye on the doin’s o’ the Great Powers, for those doin’s can have a grave effect on the livelihood of a pirate such as meself. It seems the lanlubbin’ powers have carved up the land and the seas amongst themselves. When I’m not plunderin’ and spendin’ pieces of eight on tavern wenches, I do a little smugglin’; mostly rum, tobaccy and sugar. Well now it seems the world is changed, for with this here internal free market, there just ain’t no margin in the smuggling game anymore. Well, I’m too old a salt to change, but I have to say it galls me that one I thought a worthy rival and sometimes ally on the high seas, Blackbeard, has fallen among the New Pirates.

This man, once feared on each of the Seven Seas, has taken the gold coins and fancy raiment o’ the New Pirates and their leader, the dread Johnny Depp. These New Pirates are no sea-dogs, but lackeys o’ the Great Lanlubbin’ Powers. Pirates-turned-Pirate Hunters, it’s these New Pirates who are now sailin’ all over Europe, enforcin’ this new treaty. Blackbeard has grown so comfortable and portly in Brussels (a filthy lanlubbin’ town if ever there was one) that I’ll wager he’s forgotten what its even like to feel the spray o’ the sea. So when he docked in Dublin last night, it’s no wonder he didn’t know what to expect. Oh I’ll warrant that he thought he was safe, so close to the frigate Liberty, another fine pirate ship fallen into the hands of Johnny Depp. But dammit if a young knave with the right kind o’ stuff in him didn’t sail alongsides and launch a broadside at him. Now, I’ve shared to many mugs o’ grog with Blackbeard to wish him ill, but it just goes to show that there are still a few of the right kind of pirates around, and if the New Pirates keep to their alliance with the Lanlubbin’ powers, they might yet have to flee the grape shot o’ the true pirates. We here at the IPR will be around, ye can be sure, to talk about it all at very great length.

Lash the mizzen!

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2 Responses to “Blackbeard in Dublin Skirmish”


  1. 1 Donagh 15 April, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    Brilliant stuff. May the wind catch your sails and may you plunder on the open seas for many a year.


  1. 1 Irish Election » Blackbeard Skirmish Trackback on 15 April, 2008 at 9:06 pm

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Arrh! The Photo above be available for us to be using though Creative Commons by missy_1074 from Flickr. We thankee!
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