That be said, you be right that the amassed landlubber navies do pose a problem for those of us with the bucanneer callin’. I’ve done away with the parrot Malvolio and I now suspect he may have been an agent of the dread pirate Johnny Depp atrying to steer us pirates away from our core values towards New Piracy or landlubbin.

The Dead Parrot Malvolio’s comments do strike me as being sense though, in the traditional context of a hierarchical Cap’n/Crew relationship where ye swear yer oath to one cap’n and one ship. What would the confederacy of pirates be only a crew made o’ cap’ns which would require a cap’n del tutti cap’ns, which would cause woe and mutiny among the other cap’ns eventually. Fer this is the very model of a modern landlubbin’ navy.

If what is proposed is a looser co-operative based on a piratical meritocracy based on agreed critiera(wenches kidnapped, d’bloons buried, songs sung ’bout ye, freighters hijacked) with clearly stated common goals and mechanisms for sharing success (booty) and making collective decisions about when to set sail for Tortuga, with each Cap’n havin’ a right to make an collective idea walk the plank if it might put ship, crew or booty in peril then, me hearties, we’d have a plan that would confound the dastardly Pirate Destroyers and their new Cannon.

But if we cannot set a common compass and course then the landlubbers and the Dread Pirates Johnny Depp and Gena Davis have sunk us without firing a shot.

‘Tis talk such as this that keeps the cause of Piracy back on the Isle of Ireland. Why, without a common front against the well-armed fleets of Landlubbers Pirates cannot hope to ever defeat their many enemies.

You talk of every Captain for himself, but really you would have no Captain succeed, even if it meant success for all Pirates, if you could not be sure it would be you.

That’s the kind of scurvy, toothless thinking that a cur of a self-styled Captain such are yourself could be expected to spout when in his cups in the lowest taverns of Bristol. I can only say that I be shocked to see it in the annals of the Irish Pirate Review, which I took to be free of such parrot squawking.

Avast, and beware ye don’t find yourself served with The Black Spot for such bilge!